My summer vacation started yesterday which means that I will have five weeks of freedom, hopefully some of the time will be devoted to digital painting.

I haven't painted a lot during the last six months. I've tried occassioinally, but it is kinda hard to find the motivation when you feel that you are limited, both because of lack of skills, but alsl because I have started to feel a pressure to produce "my own material".

So far, I am using photos as references which I trace to get the proportions right and then I keep the photos next to me to use as references to how it all should look like. I do not make overpaintings, but still I feel kinda like a fraud when I am so dependent of the references. It takes out a lot of fun because I have some really cool ideas in my mind, but I do not feel that I have the skill or resources to make them come true.

I used to loce drawing when I was younger, but nowdays I just don't seem to get it right. I was never great at drawing, but at least I could spend hours and hours trying.

I think I need some kind of ego boost. I have to finish my Nefertiti painting and I also have this idea of two Marie Antoinette paintings which I have started on, but I haven't come that afar yet. Then I think that I should really try and make my own art. I guess i give up to easily.

I love to paint digitally and it would be really fun to be able to improve. I even bought and ipad so that I could paint when I am not home, but so far I haven't gotten used to the unability to use pressure sensitivity and the lack of precission the Wacom Bamboo Stylus gives me. But i thought it would be a nice doodle tool. Well, I also bought it since I am starting University this fall, I am not that crazy.

Oh, by the way I created a tumblr account today to have a platform where I can post more WIPs outside of Deviantart. You'll find me at thesatanicnun.tumblr.com.